180k ironman26 days to go.  180km on the bike yesterday.  A wee 25km to support my dear friend Shelby Hyslop in the Tarawera Ultra Trail run on Saturday along with a beautiful 4km swim on the official IM course.  I feel good.  How? Do I deserve it? What happens when I stop?  I have so many questions.

My lesson from sitting on the bike for eight hours yesterday is that when something is hard, challenges you, brings you to tears, confuses you and you feel angry, it just is.  I am a philosopher – I like to know the reason for everything.  I like to feel the emotions.  I had to save my energy.  It served me better.  What’s the expression? Don’t sweat the small stuff.  There wasn’t a big fan fair at the end to say well done.  No-one is interested in my journey as much as I am.   In wonder.  In awe of the learning curve.

I have the most patient, understanding and kind partner in this.  His name is Alastair and he introduced me to the sport.  Silly man!  It also helps that we love each other.  Those rules don’t apply though when you are near the infamous Wall (when you feel desperate, exhausted, nothing left in the tank).  He also taught me that sometimes it’s okay to surrender to how the body is feeling.  I still think it isn’t but I wonder how I’ll feel about that idea on the day ….

IIWIS.  It is what it is.  Whatever happens.